well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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