Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
