Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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