god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
