home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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