Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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