so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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