So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
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How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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