So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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