oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize