why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
