I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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