You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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