I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
