put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My pussy is not your playground.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
