You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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