God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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