used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
