Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
