i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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