Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
