I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dear god my vagina.
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