hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
