on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
