At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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