google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
false alarm. still invincible.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
