At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
