I'm lost and stupid without you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm passing your future prison.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
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