my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
