never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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