Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
