Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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