I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
