People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
