who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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