i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
