is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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