franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm always down for nudity.
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