is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
