Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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