i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
