Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
