it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
