Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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