Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy