billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.