He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
