i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time