I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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