If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
