went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just high enough for therapy.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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