I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize