If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
