Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
