You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
