i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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