apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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