i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
