oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i've created a new STD.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize