Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
