I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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