but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
