I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
