I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize