I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
