My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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