They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize