Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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