I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
