Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We talked him into tasing himself.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
