Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
