If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
