I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
