Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize